>photo © 2007 Melissa Wiese | more info (via: Wylio)
Our younger girls (we have two sets of twins, ages 13 and almost-4) are very mommy-centered. It’s worse since my wife went to work full-time last year and since we’ve upped the number of days at preschool to 4. Tuesday is my day home with them. We sometimes go to the Alaska Wildlife Conservation Center. We sometimes go out to eat or go on walks. This past Tuesday…I know it sounds fun…we went to church.
And, now that my lovely wife is taking college courses to get a teaching degree so she can have a degree to do what she’s already doing–teaching–that means that she has to spend more time in online classes and studying.
What I mean to say is that I spend a whole lot of time with the younger twins. I’m a good Daddy. I’m the one who usually gets them dressed in the morning and gets them to Little Bears Playhouse. I’m usually the one who makes their lunch. I’m very much “around” and spend quality time with them. And, as of late, Mommy’s a little more occupied.
While I’m sure all of this has an effect on them, their attachment to Mommy can be…well…obnoxious. Julie can find it hard to leave in the AM or even to run out to pick up another kid from some activity in the evening. They always have “one more thing they need to say”. They need “one more hug.” They sit on the back of the couch looking out the window and, on occasion, cry their little hearts out as Mommy drives away.
But, what kind of…really…in a way…sorta bothers me is bedtime. Julie and I will be in there and we’ll read and we’ll sing and we’ll tuck them in. But, most nights, when all four of us are in there, the girls want just about nothing to do with me. If Mommy already has one kid in her lap, the other doesn’t want to sit on mine. They want Mommy to read and Mommy to hold them and Mommy to scratch their backs and it’s Mommy that they cry out for when they are sad.
I try not to take it personally. I know there are some Mommy issues going on. But sometimes I feel like a “fourth wheel” on a tricycle. (Metaphor’s not real strong, but you know what I mean).
Julie’s aware. We’ve talked.